Despite Everything
by Samandriel
Summary: 'Dean rolled his eyes and gestured around them with his free hand. "Dumpy motel rooms make you happy?" He looked down, refusing to blush as he formed his next words. "Being around you makes me happy, Dean." Dean stopped and looked at him, surprise and confusion written all over his freckled face. "...You're messing with me, right?"' oneshot, rated M, nothing too sexual xD


**sooo this is an RP conversation i had on omegle with someone xD i didnt get their name or anything, so if its you, message me or comment and tell me cx i decided i liked it and id change it into a one-shot :D**

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Castiel sat on the roof of the hotel the Winchesters were currently staying at, listening to the wind and the trees, looking up at the stars. It was nearly midnight, and from what he could tell, Sam still wasnt home. He had probably gone home with some girl from some bar, as he often did. He had been different ever since he lost his soul, and the angel knew that. But he was still Sam, and he still cared a great deal for him.

With a ruffle of his feather, Castiel was in the shabby motel room, standing in the middle of the room with his arms by his sides. "Dean?"

Dean turned around in his chair, a slightly frightened expression on his freckled face. "Jesus christ, Cas, stop sneaking up on me like that!"

Castiel's brow furrowed as he looked over the hunter. "I apologize, Dean. Did I scare you?"

Dean sighed and ran his hands over his face, throwing an arm over the back of the chair to get a good look at Castiel. "What? No. No, of course not. What do you want?"

"I heard you praying for me.. Was that not you?" Castiel tilted his head to the side slightly, squinting at the hunter.

Maybe it was the light, but Castiel could have sworn he saw Dean Winchester blushing. "Er, right. Yeah, yeah." Dean cleared his throat. "I was.. Well, I wanted to say something."

Castiel nodded,telling him to continue. "What is it, Dean?" Again, he did that head tilt that Dean and Sam ssecretly referred to as the Angel Head Tilt - it seemed all the angels they had encountered did it at one point or another.

Dean looked down at the ground, rubbing the back of his neck in a slightly awkward manner. "Thanks. For coming back here after that mess in you-know-where. You didn't have to, but you did. So thanks."

"Do not thank me, Dean. I knew you needed me, so I came. Is that not what friends do?"

"Yeah, sure, definitely." Castiel couldnt help but notice Dean still wasnt looking at him. "So.. yeah, the shit I say is starting to sound as fruity as Sam so I'll stop. I just couldn't sleep, you know, and was thinking, and that's what came out.

The angel nodded. "No chick flick moments. I heard you say that to Sam once." He looked down at his shoes, and much to his pleasant surprise, he heard Dean laugh.

"Hey, look at that, I'm a good teacher," Dean said in that cocky way of his. Castiel didnt mind, though. He just smiled and looked up at the other man.

Dean caught a glance at the angels' eyes when he looked up, staring for a bit longer than he normally would have, before quickly looking away. "Er.. right.. so, that's it. If you need to get back to angel business. Making harps and grooming each other's wings, or whatever."

"I do not make harps, Dean. And we do not groom each others wings." He shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot. "That is personal."

Dean looked up and smirked. "Angels have personal business?"

"Of course we do. We do not know everything that goes on in the garrison," Castiel said, suddenly guarded.

"What's yours, then? Secret knitting hobbyist?" Dean asked, half curious and half jokingly.

"I was loyal to my Father until recently. I did what he requested of me. And I do not know what knitting is, Dean," the angel responded, confused.

Dean raised his eyebrows. "Alright then, Senior Buzzkill." He stood up and made his way to the bed, gently perching on the edge. "Bet Sammy could teach you to knit a mean scarf if you change your mind." He said, in all seriousness. Castiel looked around the room.

"I do not believe scarves have emotions, Dean."

Dean reached down and grabbed his warm, half-empty beer, taking a huge gulp. "Yeah and I didn't believe angels existed but anything's possible," he said from behind the lip of the bottle.

Castiel did the Angel Head Tilt again, his eyes narrowing in confusion. "Is something bothering you, Dean?"

"Something's always bothering me." He groaned under his breath, setting his bottle aside and shaking his head. "But no, not really, I guess."

"Would you like to talk about it?" Castiel asked, moving to stand in front of the bed.

Dean laughed without humour. "No chick flick moments, Cas.."

Castiel nodded, a short, curt movement. "I apologize, Dean." He looked around uncomfortably.

Dean looked up, something in his eye that Castiel barely recognized, before motioning him closer. "If you're not going to flutter off, then stop standing around and sit down."

The angel looked around before moving to sit by Dean. "I do not 'flutter', Dean."

"Then what's with the wingy-flappy noise when you blink out?" he asked, raising an eyebrow at the angel.

Castiel sighed. "That is the sound of my wings. They are quite large and I like to stretch them when I leave. I am sorry if it annoys you." He looked down, suddenly afraid that he had been annoying Dean this whole time.

Dean shook his head. "It doesn't annoy me, it's just kinda... fabulous. In a cute way, I guess." He stopped, suddenly, when he realized what he had just said. "I mean, awesome manly way."

Castiel looked down at his feet. "Did you just call me fabulous, Dean?" A small smile spread across his face.

"N-No! I meant your wing thing, the thing you do. Psh," Dean stuttered out.

"My wings are "cute"?" Castiel asked.

Dean rolled his eyes. "Dude. I totally did _not_ use that word."

"I believe you did, Dean. You said it was fabulous. In a cute way."

Dean looked away from him, desperately trying to rub the red from his lightly stubbled cheeks. "...Shut up." The angel closed his mouth and looked away from Dean.

Dean sat there in silence, almost wishing the angel would flutter off so he could find a pillow to hide his face in. He didnt like having awkward moments, especially with Cas. "Well... this is about a week's worth of awkward."

"Would you like me to leave, Dean?" he asked, making a move to stand up.

Dean jerked forward, placing his hand on the angels' knee to keep him from getting up. "No, you're good, it's fine," he said quickly.

The angel looked down at Dean's hand, nodding. "I will stay." He looked over at the hunter and smiled. Dean looked up just in time to see his smile, swallowing quickly and averting his gaze once again.

Castiel looked down at his knee where Dean's hand covered it, saying, "You are very warm, Dean."

Dean tried - and failed - to subtly take a deep breath, trying to regain his posture. "It, uh.. must be cold in here or something."

"The temperature is fine. Are you okay, Dean?" Castiel asked, worry in his eyes.

"Yeah, I'm totally fine," Dean lied, glancing back up at him. "Why?"

Castiel shrugged, a slight rise and drop of his shoulders. "You seem troubled by something." He put his hand on the hunters' shoulder and tilted his head to the side. "Are you sure you are okay?"

Dean tensed, looking down at Castiel's hand, before taking in a deep shuddering breath. "..Cas, damnit.."

"Im... sorry. Did I do something wrong?" Castiel pulled his hand away, worry flickering through his blue eyes once more.

"Cas.. I'm gonna say something really awkward here and you're probably going to blink out on me but I'm gonna do it anyway." Dean took a deep breath.

The angel nodded. "Go ahead, Dean."

"Alright, well..." He stopped as he tried to think, leaning over his knees to rub his forehead with his hands. "...I feel weird around you, okay?"

Angel Head Tilt. "I do not understand what you mean."

Dean sighed heavily. "Neither do I, I just.. it's like I get all... chick flick."

Castiel squinted down at Dean. "No chick flick moments," he said with a small smile.

"Exactly! That's why this is... argh." He covered his face with his hands, his next words slightly muffled. "Forget I said anything, I don't even know what I'm saying."

Castiel tiltled his head to the side. "I apologize.."

"Don't.." Dean took his hands away from his face, hesitating before setting one back where it had been, on the angels' right knee. Said angel looked down at the hinters' hand and smiled. Dean gave a half laugh. "You're smiling a lot. It's starting to creep me out a little."

Castiel dropped his smile. "Im... Is smiling not what one does when they are happy?"

Dean rolled his eyes and gestured around them with his free hand. "Dumpy motel rooms make you happy?"

He looked down, refusing to blush as he formed his next words. "Being around you makes me happy, Dean."

Dean stopped and looked at him, surprise and confusion written all over his freckled face. "...You're messing with me, right?"

Another head tilt. "I do not lie to you, Dean. Why would I be 'messing with you'?"

Dean shrugged. "I'm just not really the happy-inducing type."

"I find that hard to believe, Dean. You make me very happy," the angel said, confused.

The hunter smirked at that. "I guess the bar ain't too high when my competition is a bunch of stuffy angels."

"Competition?" Sometimes it was so hard to keep up with the.. _human_ things Dean said.

"You know, like.. people you spend time with, I guess." Another shrug.

"You are the only person I spend time with, besides Sam. I dont not spend time with many of my siblings," Castiel responded truthfully.

Dean frowned slightly. "You spend alone time with Sammy?"

"I have before, yes. Your brother is very intelligent." Castiel smiled, remembering a conversation he had had with the youngest Winchester about astrophysics and the solar system. Of course, Castiel barely understood him, but he had enjoyed the conversation, nonetheless.

Dean frowned and looked away. "Alright then. Yeah, real smart cookie." Castiel knew how proud Dean was of Sam; of course he was proud - Dean loved his little brother more than anything.

"You're smart too, Dean." He looked up at the hunter and smiled, moments later remembering Deans' earlier words and dropping the smile. "Sorry.. I do not wish to 'creep you out'."

"I was kidding about that, Cas."

Castiel nodded and looked down before smiling and looking back up at Dean.

The hunter looked up, his eyes scanning over the other mans' face. "That's all it takes then? Sitting here and you get all smiley?"

He nodded, blushing slightly at his words. "I... enjoy spending time with you."

That time, Dean smiled back. "I think I like it too."

Castiel looked down at Dean's hand on his knee and frowned, resisting the urge to set his own hand upon the hunters'. "We do not get to spend much time together.."

"Yeah.. duty calls and whatnot. Not much time to sit back and enjoy yourself, eh?"

"Yes, it would seem so... Are you not tired, Dean? It is late."

Dean looked over his shoulder at the plastic alarm clock that sat on the cheap bedside table before turning back to Castiel with a shrug. "Eh, I'll catch a few hours later. Can't manage to sleep right now anyway."

The angel nodded slowly. "I wish to spend more time with you and I could not do that if you were to go to sleep right now."

"You could sit there and stare at me while I was asleep but that would be legit creepy, so... yeah, I like Option A," he said with a small laugh.

Castiel looked away, blushing lightly. "You always wake up."

Dean blinked up at him. "..Wait, what?"

There was a slight pause. "Nevermind."

"Cas, do you flutter in and go full-on creeper mode on me while I'm out cold?" Dean asked him, amused.

"Dean, I already told you; I do not "flutter". And I do not go "creeper mode"." Whatever that meant, Castiel thought.

"Then what do you call it?" Dean asked, and Castiel blinked up at him.

"Waiting. I do not wish to wake you up when I need you."

"..Right. Not weird at all." Dean paused and rubbed at his neck. "Need me for what?"

"Information. Or when you pray for me but I am busy. I always come when you call, Dean," he said, suddenly serious.

Dean squeezed his knee a little, meeting his eyes. "I know you do."

Castiel slid his hand under Deans', lacing his fingers through the hunter's and blushing slightly, a soft pink blooming on his cheeks. Deans' green eyes widened as he looked down at their conjoined fingers. "I apologize if this makes you uncomfortable.." Castiel spoke softly, moving to pull his hand away. Dean didnt pull away, instead tightening his fingers around the angels' so he couldnt pull away. Castiel just looked back down, squeezing Dean's hand back and blushing once again.

Dean trailed his eyes from their hands up to the angels' face. "Don't you dare try to leave, Cas."

Castiel looked up and met Dean's green eyes with his blue ones. "I will not leave until you wish me to."

Deans' gaze moved down from the angels' eyes to linger on his lips before he hesitantly leaned in to press his own against them. Castiel froze up before gently leaning into Dean, placing his free hand on the hunter's cheek. Said hunter squeezed his hand tighter as he shifted on the bed to face him better. He felt like his entire face was on fire from the blush that surely consumed him.

Castiel pulled back slightly to look at Dean, pressing his forehead against the hunters'. "I... What if Sam comes back?"

Dean swallowed hard, trying to get the lump out of his throat before answering, "Then he can sleep outside."

The angel slid his hand down Deans' neck. "You would make Sam sleep outside?"

Dean shut his eyes at the sudden motion. "Damn right... He doesn't get to interrupt this."

Castiel leaned down and hesitantly brushed his lips against Deans'. "Yes. That would be.. not good.." he said as he bit Deans' bottom lip gently. The hunter made a small pleased noise as he kissed the angel harder in return, moving his hands up to his shoulders to slide his trench coat off. The other man leaned back slightly to shrug his trench coat off before moving forward again to kiss Dean, who put a hand on the others' chest to push him back against the pillows, moving by his side as he leaned over him. He started to tug at the rest of his clothing, trying not to focus on how weird it should be - but wasnt. Castiel leaned back nervously against the pillows, following Deans' movements with his eyes. "Dean, I d-... I've never..." He looked down at his hands, a blush spreading across his cheeks.

Dean pulled back a little to look down at him, already dizzy with the moment in a way he hadn't felt in years, if ever. "I.. haven't either, so... I mean, not with a... something other than a woman. Not in a while, at least.." he confesses. He cant lie to Cas.

"I've never done anything with a woman before." Castiel looked down, his blush darkening. "I have not spent much time in a vessel..."

Dean nervously placed his hand against the angels' cheek, hoping that it would be at least little bit reassuring. "Hey.. It won't be so bad. Trust me." He smiled softly down at Castiel, who closed his eyes and leaned into his hand.

"I do not know what to do" he said quietly, opening his eyes to gauge Dean's reaction.

"Relax." He leaned in again to press a brief kiss to his partners' lips, then trailed down his jaw to his neck where he pulled away his tie and started to open his shirt one button at a time, kissing each new inch of exposed skin as he went down. Castiel closed his eyes and leaned his head against the headboard, lacing his fingers through Deans' hair.

"I trust you, Dean."

The hunter moved back up to press his face against the angels' neck, pressing his lips against his pulse and enjoying the fingers in his hair. "Cas... I've thought about you for so damn long."He pulled the shirt off the angels' shoulders and threw it to the ground before slipping his arms under his back. The angel leaned his head to the side so that Dean could have better access to his exposed neck.

"I.. I think about you, too, Dean," he admitted, wrapping his arms loosely around the hunters' shoulders. Dean moved so he was more on top of him, settling his legs between the angels' as he pressed their bare chests together. He gently bit at the angels' pulse point.

Castiel sucked in a sharp breath as Dean bit at his exposed neck. "Dean..." He pulled the blonde hair lightly, causing Dean to make a low noise under his breath. He slid a hand between them and under the hem of the angels' pants. Castiel mumbled something unintelligible under his breath, squirming under the pressure of Deans' hand. "Your hand is cold.."

Dean chuckled quietly. "It'll get warmer," he promised, moving his hand to unbutton Castiels' pants before slipping it in again, wrapping his fingers around his length, stroking it slowly.

"Ah, Dean, that f.." Castiel trailed off, bringing his hand to his mouth and biting his fist, squeezing his eyes shut.

Dean pulled his head back to see his reaction, smirking when he did. "You alright, Cas?"

He nodded, taking his hand out of his mouth to pull Dean forward, sucking on his lip before biting it softly and bring it into his own mouth to suck on it again. "I learned that from the pizza man," he mumbled hoarsely.

Dean made a noise when he was suddenly pulled down, tightening his other hand's grip on the angels' back. "Pizza man teach you anything else?"

"You said we should not talk about it," he responded, sliding his hands down to Deans' hips, grabbing them tightly.

Dean bit the inside of his lip, moving his own hands to the angels' hips to tug his pants down before he started to stroke him again.

Castiel leaned up into Deans' touch, arching his back slightly off the bed. "I really hope Sam does not come home right now."

"Mm.. Let him leave or watch, I'm not giving up my boner tonight." He ran his hand up the angels' side, leaning in to suck on his neck again. Castiel blushed at Dean's words, moving his hand back to bite on it. Dean used one hand to pull his own shorts down and kick them off, then moved to straddle Castiel better and grind down hard against him.

There was a quiet ruffling sound as the angels' wings spread out against the pillows. "Dean..." he moaned in the back of his throat as the hunter grinded down against him.

Deans' eyes widened as he looked down at the dark wings spread out on the bed. "Woah, Cas..." he whispered as he leaned down to gently touch them.

Castiel flinched away before he could, though, and Dean could just make out the hint of a blush. "I apologize, Dean. I did not mean for that to happen..."

Dean pulled his hand back when he saw him flinch despite the urge to reach forward and gently stroke the feathers. "Cas.. they're beautiful."

Castiel closed his eyes and blushed deeper. "Thank you, Dean.." He wraped his arms around the hunters' neck, pulling him to him to kiss him again.

Dean tilted his head into the kiss, pressing his hips against Castiel's again. "Cas..." He glanced back at his wings, gesturing toward it. "Can I.. ?"

The angel nodded hesitantly, playing with the soft hairs on the back of Deans' neck. "Please be careful. They are sensitive.." he said as he moved to kiss Dean's neck. The green-eyed man lightly ran his fingers along the curves of each feather they found, almost moaning at how it felt underneath his hand. He leaned over to press his lips against the top of one wing, gently, then trailed his lips down it to the angels' shoulder. He moaned quietly under his breath, sucking on Dean's collarbone.

Dean started to grind his hips against Castiel again, then suddenly pressed his length hard against the angels' and wrapped his hand around both, stroking them together. "Nn... Cas.." he mumbled into the angels' shoulder.

"It seems as if the pizza man taught you something too," he said. He continued to suck at Deans' collarbone until there was a small dark spot before bringing his lips back up to the hunters', who returned the kiss passionately, making a strangled noise in his throat as he thrust against the angel, practically shoving his tongue into his mouth.

"Ah, Dean..." Castiel arched up against the hunter, biting his bottom lip.

Dean bit his lip back a little harder than he intended as he tried to keep control of himself. He could feel himself slipping closer to the point of no return. "Cas.. I.."

And for once, the angel knew what he was talking about. "I know, Dean. Me too." He said, and squeezed his eyes close, wrapping his arms around Dean's waist and pulling him tighter against him. "Dean, when we are...ah- done, would you like to go get pie?" Castiel asked suddenly

Dean moaned against his lips. "Oh god, you say all the right things," he said as he leaned in to kiss his jaw up to his ear, biting on his earlobe.

Castiel laughed quietly, leaning to the side as Dean bit his ear. "I am going to assume that as a yes."

Dean moaned loudly as his response, thrusting against him one last time as his release spilled out over the angels' stomach. Castiel bit his lip before letting out a shuddering breath, following close behind the hunter in his release, his muscles tightening before relaxing.

Dean leaned heavily on the angel under him, trying to regain his breath as he brought up his hand and surveyed the mess on his fingers. Hesitantly, he gave it a tiny lick. "Okay, could be worse," he said with a small laugh.

The man under him pulled him down in a soft kiss. "I agree. I have tasted worse things."

Dean kissed him back gently, leaning against him as he slowly moved his hands up to stroke his oft wings.

"I forgot about that.." Another soft fluttering sound and the wings were gone.

Dean frowned, pouting as he said, "I was having fun with those."

"I apologize." Castiel looked down at his hands."

Dean dropped the frown and smiles a little, kissing the angels' cheek. "So..."

"What now?" He reached down and laced his fingers through Deans'.

Dean blushed a little when he felt his hand in his own again. "Well, I guess we... keep doing this? If you want. In the future, I mean."

"Would you like to continue doing this? You would have to tell Sam.. Unless you would just like to partake in physical activities with me.." He slid closer to Dean, resting his head on his chest and closing his eyes, almost afraid of what the human would say.

Dean just looked down at him, trailing his hand up and down the angels' soft hip. "Cas, that's not what I want. I... fine, yeah, I'll figure it out with Sam. Not the least awkward news in the world to deliver but yeah, sure."

Castiel ignores the way Dean chose to word his sentence, instead looking up at him with a small smile and saying, "Do you not wish to get pie, Dean?"

Dean nodded, smiling down at Castiel. "Yeah but not right now," he said, then yawned. "It probably smells like sex in here but Sammy can deal with it."

"Will he care that we...?" He motioned toward the bed then looked around awkwardly.

Dean sighed and shrugged. "I dont know, but who cares? Im happy, as far as I can tell, youre happy-"

"I am happy," Cas interrupted, tightening his arms a small fraction around Deans' waist.

They fell asleep like that; happy, content, if not a little sticky. Deans' last thought was how happy he was, how happy he hoped Cas was. And Castiels' last thought, before he drifted off to sleep in Dean's arms, was_ finally._

xxx

Castiel woke up to an empty bed, reaching his arm out. The other side of the bed was still warm - it wasnt a dream and Dean had just recently got up. With a smile, the angel poofed (as Dean would say) his clothes back on and walked into the kitchen where he smelled food cooking. He walked silently up behind Dean, wrapping his arms around his waist from behind and pressing his forehead to Deans' bare back, right between his shoulder blades. The hunter leaned into the touch, reaching down to place his hands over the angels' before turning back to the pancakes.

"Hey, Cas," he said quietly. It wasnt until then that the angel noticed Sam sitting at the table. He froze and turned to meet the confused gaze of the younger Winchester sibling. "Oh, Sammy. Me and Cas are together now," he said nonchalantly over his shoulder to his younger brother. Sam raised his eyebrows, shocked, at a blushing Castiel before shrugging and turning back to his laptop.

And thats when Cas knew that, despite everything going on, just maybe, everything would turn out alright.

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**soooo yeah xD i changed the end and some little bits, but i hope it still turned out alright :3**

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